Slides, Crying and A Baldness Cure in Flat Black: The Daily Nooner (EST)!

Awesome Video Of The Day Slide Owns Kid... Twice I'll admit it: yesterday was a little rough. Racism, stereotypes, puppets... it wasn't for everyone, and several commenters made it abundantly clear that they didn't think Chuck Knipp's portrayal of southern black women was very funny. Today, I'd like to make up for it with a video of something I'm pretty sure we can all get behind: parents laughing at their injured, sobbing children. I'm not a parent, but I'm pretty sure that openly laughing at your child after they do something stupid is a good rule of thumb. It sends a very clear message: "You have room for improvement." Sure, you could rush to his side and tell him that he did a great job of climbing that slide, but you'd both know that wasn't true. That would be a lie, and while it might temporarily boost his self-esteem, recent studies have shown that
Continue Reading Below

Advertisement

it would probably actually harm him in the long run. Moral of the story? Laugh at your children when they hurt themselves and they will be very successful. Like they'll grow up and become lawyers and politicians. That IS what you want, ISN'T IT?
The Worst Of "As Seen On TV" The Product: Jerome Russell Spray On Hair Color Thickener The Ad Copy: "Don't be self-conscious about your thinning hair anymore! Spray On Hair Thickener will effectively cover up light to medium bald spots. Thinning areas will appear fuller and thicker!"
Continue Reading Below

Advertisement

Continue Reading Below

Advertisement

Price: $9.95 plus $6.95 shipping & handling Target Demographic: People so self-conscious about their male pattern baldness that they prefer to walk around with their heads covered in spray paint Why It Sucks: Is there really anyone out there who actually uses this product? Are there guys who consider spray painting their scalps just another part of their personal hygiene regimen, like flossing or using deodorant? Do they use it every day, or is it only for special occasions? If I were balding and I bought a bottle of this stuff, I'd try to only put it on when I went out to the club or whatever. You know - to give me that extra edge. I'd be all, "Hey - I have real human hair growing out of my scalp." Then they'd ask if they could touch it, but by then I'd already be having sex with them. That's how clubs work when you're the kind of guy who spray paints your own bald spot. Stupid Factor (1 to 10): 10
To turn on reply notifications, click here

17 Comments

Load Comments

More Blogs

15 Baffling Questions Raised By The X-Men Movies

The X-Men series has been held together by duct tape and hope.

106

5 Cartoon Moments That Would Traumatize The Characters

This should have resulted in years of therapy.

95

12 Weird Changes The Government Asked Famous Movies to Make

Sometimes it's just a matter of making the US Department of Defense look, like, REALLY cool.

126

5 Apocalypse Scenarios You Should Stop Worrying About

Actual impending doom like global climate change or mass extinction just makes people bored.

182

11 Everyday Gadgets That Just Wouldn't Die

Nothing lasts forever ... except these things.

94

5 Ways People Are Faking Having Better Lives On Social Media

Some people's social media feeds are a buffet of lies and deceit.

103