Slay This Valentine's With These Flowers And Wine Startups

This piece was written by the people who run the Cracked Store to tell you about products that are being sold there.

Valentine's Day is coming at us faster than Cupid's arrows if they were shot from a love-themed bazooka, and right now, you might be scrambling for the perfect gift. Here's our advice: Don't overthink it. Much like peanut butter and jelly, Guillermo del Toro and Ron Perlman, or tiny dogs and a Slip 'N Slide, flowers and wine is a combo that never fails. And here's the best part: You can get both of these things conveniently online and at a great price through two amazing startups called Bouqs and Winc.

Bouqs (which is a very awesome Tom Haverford way to name a company) is your go-to for farm-direct flowers at a bargain. Instead of rooting around through decaying stems at the grocery, your flowers will arrive at your door totally fresh and from a local farm. Imagine the look on your beloved's face as they fantasize about the muscular, sweat-glistened florist who delicately picked each flower by hand. (Did we mention they were shirtless while doing so? Because they definitely were.) And while they focus on that, you get to fantasize about the great savings you got, because Bouqs cuts out distributors and wholesalers, ultimately making your beautiful bouquet much more affordable.

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Of course, a bouquet alone is not enough, and what better gift to give than a delicious bottle of wine? Like Bouqs, the wine delivery service Winc cuts out all the middlemen involved in selling you a bottle of wine, so you get your bottles right from the vineyard. Don't worry if you don't know anything about wine. Even if you can't tell the difference between a Shiraz and a Shakira (one's a singer, by the way), all you need to say is "This bottle was hand-selected and delivered straight from the vineyard," and your paramour will walk away impressed. Or just give them the wine and walk away silently ... mysteriously ... alluringly.

There's still time to have wine and flowers delivered to the person you love most for Valentine's Day. Right now, the Cracked Store has The Bouqs Deluxe Bouquet: Valentine's Day Special which allows you to buy any $50 bouquet for $29.99. Pair that with a Winc Wine Delivery of four bottles for $26, which gives you $52 in credit toward four $13 bottles. Combine these two deals with coupon code 2018VDAY15, and you'll get an additional 15 percent off.

On the Long Trek to Forever, you may feel as though you are God's Lonely Man. But fear not, you'll always have your Hoverboard Cat.

And if you're still hard up for a friend this Valentine's Day, check out This Fish Tank Takes Care Of Itself (So You Don't Have To), and never be alone again.

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