Objects thrown at you: Pillows
You've just been asked to perform a minor chore by your spouse/boyfriend/girlfriend/long term same-gendered "roommate." You playfully respond "..." They throw a pillow at you, and repeat their request, punctuating it with an impolite suggestion.
Let it bounce off you harmlessly. Throwing something back would seem to be the logical response, but this is a path that quickly leads to broken lamps, televisions, granite counter tops and relationships.
Objects thrown at you: Produce
You're at the supermarket picking up a tray of vegetables and dip to bring to a social function. While in the produce aisle, one of your past spouses/boyfriends/girlfriends/long term same-gendered "roommates" hurls one or more pieces of fruit or veg at you, accusing you of stealing their DVD player.
Simple one. Duck. Who looks crazier, the one throwing fruit, or the one who stole a DVD player and peed in the dishwasher during the later stages of a shattered relationship? The one who did it in front of witnesses.
Leave in peace and let the cops handle Ol' Stinky Dishes.
Objects thrown at you: Dirty Looks
At a social function of some sort, you've just pointed out to some new parents that they have an ugly baby. Now they're throwing dirty looks at you like you hit the damned thing.
Dirty Looks can't hurt you physically, so there's no need to deploy any avoidance maneuvers/chafe/flares in this circumstance. The only thing dirty looks
do is make you doubt yourself, so I suggest you ignore them. In this example, I'd ignore the dirty looks and blaze onwards, suggesting to the father of the aforementioned child that there's no way he's ugly enough to be the father of this abomination.