People who are diligent enough to spend hours mastering a video game that simulates playing an instrument but too lazy to learn an instrument, rejoice! The release date of Harmonix's Rock Band, the most technologically advanced and therefore nerdiest karaoke machine ever, has been moved up to December 10th. No more must you plod through Guitar Hero 80's Edition. The shred has returned.
The game will allow up to four players to stumble through cover songs by playing bass or lead guitar, drumming, or singing. Yes, each of those actions requires a peripheral device, setting the total cost to play the game at a hundred and fifty bucks for you PS2 owners and one seventy for you PS3 owners (all eight of you rich fucks). That set of course includes only one guitar, so there's another twenty right there. That gives you a little over a month to decide which of your three friends is going to shell out and let you come over to sing your rendition of "Hit me With Your Best Shot."
Also, in pathetic news, the Sex Pistols apparently reunited in the studio to record their own tracks. When you're covering your own songs so someone can play them on five brightly colored buttons, you might want to reconsider that whole "seminal revolutionary" image.
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Buckle up. This article is gonna be wild.