The Best Conspiracy Theories Ever
Awesome Conspiracy #2: Reptilian Shape-Shifters (aka "Reptoids") Run The Planet
Nuts And Bolts:
"Reptoids" - half reptile, half humanoid creatures - have been living deep beneath the Earth's surface for eons. In addition to living underground, reptoids also live on other planets and "in alternate vibrational states of reality." Whether they descended from dinosaurs or came from another planet/dimension, today these cave-dwelling creatures supposedly enjoy positions of authority within the highest echelons of our society.
Proponents of the reptoid theory say that all the "extraterrestrial" sightings you hear about are probably actually reptoid sightings. Theorists also claim that the scientific community's interest in exploring outer space is merely a ploy to keep our attention away from what's lurking beneath our own planet's surface. Oh - and
one of them
claims that Princess Diana told him personally that her and the Royal Family were aliens. How convenient.
It doesn't even really matter - if it were true, what could we do about it? They're underground, on other planets and IN OTHER DIMENSIONS. How do you fight something that's in another dimension? I guess you use a portal of some kind, probably, but I don't own any transdimensional portals. Do you? If we're controlled by Reptilian Shape-Shifters, forget a rebel uprising - they're running the show and there's nothing we can do about it. If you own any pet lizards, I suggest you get rid of it right now just in case. That would probably really piss them off.
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