A whole lot of things in this world don't make sense to me. I don't know why we can't accurately predict the weather yet, I'm not totally sure how microwaves work, Calculus has always been somewhat of a weakness.
The Vagina can be pretty tricky if you catch it on a bad day.
But of all the things in this world that I don't completely understand, nothing is quite as confusing as the continuing career of actor/forehead-monster Nicolas Cage, [pictured right just minutes after molesting an eleven year old]. I mean, the guy's got six movies
coming out in the next two years despite the fact that he's fairly talent-less, incredibly unattractive and remarkably unlikable. Sure, he's Francis Ford Coppola's son or nephew or whatever, but that shouldnât mean he gets to be Ghost Rider, right? Right!? There is no justice in this world.
Well, despite what some Cracked Bloggers might lead you to believe, there
some justice in this world as, earlier this week, Nicolas âThe White Wesley Snipesâ Cage was accused of tax fraud. Apparently, he used his production company to "wrongly write off $3.3 million in personal expenses
" and, a few years before that, "made a shitty movie about face-swapping.â
In an effort to let the âactorâ clear the air and reveal his side of the story, I drove past Cageâs house early this morning and pooped in his mailbox. Will he go to jail? Or will he, like Mr. Snipes, beat the charges and make a Bowflex commercial? Time will tell.
Stay tuned after the jump for everyone's favorite segment....