The 6-Billion-Dollar Nothing
Newspaper columns are still full of old people whining that social media isn't really anything, because they don't like people being able to talk to each other. They preferred it when everyone got their opinion from newspapers, all reading the same thing controlled by rich people, and that thing was mostly white.
Pixabay"Our cyber-archaeologists report people used these to wipe their asses, first mentally, then physically."
But one social media story really was a load of bullshit over almost nothing. CYNK Technology, a company that sounds less like an actual thing and more like an acronym that was cryptically sent to you by The Riddler, suddenly increased 25,000 percent in value, rising to over $6 billion in value, despite apparently not existing. The change was so spectacular that even business pages added comments saying, "This is not a typo," i.e., "We didn't make a mistake, but a lot of you idiots sure did."
Google FinanceEven the stock chart is giving you the middle finger.
The company's Securities And Exchange Commission filing reads like a magic spell made entirely of buzzwords, and the worst bit of bullshit is that it worked. CYNK Technology was originally Introbizz.com, based on the idea of charging to introduce people to each other. You might notice this is the exact opposite of every successful social-media site, which let you contact others for free and will even refuse to block the most vicious trolls because they're wringing money out of every interaction. Introbizz promised Leonardo DiCaprio's contact information for $50, making Inception only the second-most multi-level financial fantasy he's been involved in.
The company had plenty of buzz but no assets, revenue, full-time employees, or anything. It was a stock-market illusion that rose from 6 cents a share to over $20 before collapsing. It was the most obvious pump and dump scheme you'll see outside of a pick-up-artist seminar. Two of nine people charged in relation to the scheme have already pleaded guilty after extracting a quarter of a billion dollars from this and 40 other companies. Which doesn't change the fact that the stock market is more open to manipulation than a slutty ventriloquist dummy at a hand-model convention.
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