I can't tell you how often I get into a heated argument with someone about the economics of Pedophilia. Although I can
tell you how many establishments those arguments have caused me to be banned from: six. Seven if you count museums as establishments. But can you blame me? It's a woefully underreported area, and one that craves an answer.
Enter Michael Jackson, grabbing his crotch. And by "his" I mean Macaulay Culkin's.
Following a series of financially draining legal battles and career hits, the perennial post-op
has put his famed Neverland Ranch up for auction
. You know, that place with the amusement park rides and cotton candy, just like a ranch
. Perhaps the lucky buyer will bring some cattle in and legitimize the joint, who knows? All we know for sure is that things have been looking down for MJ ever since newspapers started running headlines like “Wacko Jacko Fondles Sacko.” Pedophilia, one could infer, is a financial killer.
But how mistaken you'd be, my shortsighted friend! For in the right circumstances, can it not also be a money-making proposition? Take the inspiring story of Louis Conradt, the late former prosecutor who is best known for his guest appearance on NBC's
To Catch a Predator
. After he shot himself in shame and humiliation, his family sued NBC for 100 million dollars in damages. And it's starting to look like