Paul Giamatti is an actor with a wide range. Heâs played everything from a ruthless hitman, to a gruff-yet-lovable physical trainer, to an annoying neurotic who likes comic books, to an annoying neurotic who likes wine. But with the release tomorrow of Fred Claus, we are about to witness the moment at which Giamatti, mad with his own sense of flexibility, takes on a role he cannot possibly do justice. Why? Because Santa Claus looks like this:
Dear Santa, I understand you will be coming into our house tonight. Please donât hurt us. I have been very good all year, and all I ask is that you make your stay short and donât take any of mommy's nice things. I assume from the red circles under your eyes that you are drunk; please try to keep from knocking anything over while youâre here. If you want to leave me a bike, that would be great, but only if itâs a gift and you donât want it back later. I donât need you knocking on my window or sending me death threats in the mail come February. Iâve enclosed five dollars. Please consider it a gift, in exchange for your not urinating anywhere in the house. And please Santa, get some help. Sleeping with a rifle, Billy
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