This piece was written by the Cracked Shop to tell you about products that are being sold there.
If you've ever been to Bed Bath & Beyond, Crate & Barrel, Pottery Barn, Williams & Sonoma, or any other home goods store (HomeGoods! That's one!), you know there is no limit to the amount of stuff your home absolutely NEEDS. Of course, you're not made of money, so you can't just buy all those things you suddenly have an inexplicable compulsion to own. And you can't keep breaking off engagements after everyone burns through the registry; they're gonna start catching on. You can, however, get some super cool stuff for budget-friendly prices in the Cracked Shop. Stuff like ...
If you're the type of person who goes to Bed Bath & Beyond with a carton full of coupons, or even just stares at online catalogs longingly, then you're really going to like this. This giveaway nets you a shot at taking home a Dyson V8 Animal Vacuum, a Dyson Supersonic Hairdryer, and a Dyson Pure Hot + Cool WiFi Enabled Bladeless Fan for exactly zero dollars. It's free to enter and free to win. That's almost $1,500 worth of home goodies absolutely free, if you get lucky.
Who among us saw The Jetsons as a child and thought, "I want a robot maid"? Who among us suffered extreme crises of conscience upon realizing the Jetsons definitely didn't pay Rosie, and her "employment" was more forced labor? Well, this robot vacuum cleaner isn't sentient, so no worries! It just cleans!
MSRP: $799. Sale Price: $439.99 (that's 44% off).
While you may think the air you breathe is better than the air everybody else breathes, you can't prove it. That is, until now. This portable air purifier deodorizes and oxidizes the air to clear it of pollutants and make it smell fresh and fabulous. You can set it up at home on your desk, in your office, or anywhere else that you want to exert power over someone else by enhancing your air quality and not theirs.
Nothing says luxury quite like sleeping on a bed made of panda food. Bamboo sheets are silky and soft and nice. (And bamboo also grows in the U.S., so you're not actually taking food from an endangered species.) Based on most sheet prices these days, you'd think they were making them out money itself, but that actually wouldn't be very comfortable. Anyway, these aren't made of money. They're made of bamboo. And you can save a lot on them.
You might have the bamboo sheets, but your panda food sleep station isn't complete without some bamboo pillows to rest your head on. These bad boys feature a hypoallergenic rayon bamboo cover that's zippered around a shredded memory foam fill. Translation: They feel amazing, and will have you sleeping sounder than a tranquilized sloth.
MSRP: $80. Sale Price: $34.99 (that's 56% off).
Prices are subject to change.
You deserve to sleep like royalty. So Makeover The BEST Room In The House W/These 5 Bedding Items.
Whose job is it to solve crimes?
The cops will come swooping in the seconds the credits roll.
There is much to show you.
The most unrealistic thing about fictional villains is that they don't get arrested until the plot calls for it.