There might not be a better place in the Universe for a holiday retreat than scenic Tatooine. Between the binary star system giving the planet a sun-soaked beach feeling and the lack of water creating a wholesome, salt-of-the-earth experience, we don't need another reason to make this our next vacation destination. Buy this T-shirt before you go, and take solace in the fact that Tatooine is mostly beyond the reach of the Galactic Empire. All that dust gets in Lord Vader's breathing apparatus, anyway.
Everyone likes a gift that makes them feel smarter, but doesn't require any hard work. It's the reason Malcolm Gladwell's a bestseller, and it's the reason that whoever you buy this T-shirt for is going to love you. The Thesaurus is a dinosaur unlike any other, though it packs plenty of synonyms. Impress your friends and family with your newfound robust vocabulary, and know that while dinosaurs might have gone extinct 65 million years ago, your family's jealousy over your language mastery never will.
I'm still freaking out here, Cracked!
Again, it's fine! And whatever you do, do not pull out the "You're entitled to one free hug" coupon book. We still have plenty of legitimate, fantastic gifts from the Cracked Store that you can choose from. Here are some of our bestsellers that will arrive in just the nick of time if you order today.