CSR: I don't really have anything to do with that sir.
CALLER: That's OK. I'm not concerned. It felt kind of stupid when I was saying it, but maybe if you got someone with a really dignified voice? Wilford Brimley, I'm thinking.
CSR: ... Do you want me to process this return for you, sir?
CALLER: Yes, please do.
CSR: Well, so long as the product is unused, I think we can work something out.
CALLER: Oh I used it. I thought I'd show her how to use it before she gave up on the whole idea, and well, that just made things worse.
CSR: I'm sorry sir? You said you used it? I thought it was in its original packaging.
CALLER: It is. I put it back in the original packaging afterward.
CSR: OK, but once it's out of the original packaging, we can no longer accept it.
CALLER: Ok, but I didn't "use it," use it. If you know what I mean. It was a dry run I guess. Is that a term? Do you use that term in the industry? That's what I'd like to call it. I can explain what I mean if you want.
CSR: Please don't. And it really makes no difference sir once it's out of the original packaging.
CALLER: And I washed it afterwards. Obviously.
CSR: Again, no amount of washing will be acceptable.
CALLER: Well this puts us in a bit of a pickle, doesn't it?
CSR: I'm sorry, sir. Is there anything else I can help you with?
CALLER: Yes there is. You work in a little call center there, right? How many people would you say work there with you on the Comfort Wipe product?
CSR: There's four of us sir, but we handle all sorts of different products...