JAKE Actually, I'm the only Marineâ¦ I have no idea who that other guy is.
[Beat, as the both turn to look at DOB.]
DOB I also considered "Peenytail." Day 2 (later): Meeting Colonel Quaritch DOB and JAKE meet up with COLONEL QUARITCH, who has a series of terrifying giant face scars for no reason.
COLONEL QUARITCH Jake, you're an accomplished marine. And youâ¦ other guy, you can listen too, this concerns both of you.
JAKE Yes, sir.
COLONEL QUARITCH I want to make sure you're both on my side. You need to know what you're up against down there.
COLONEL QUARITCH See these three giant scars on my face?
DOB How could I possibly miss them?
COLONEL QUARITCH They're a constant reminder of just what those beasts down there are capable of. Remember that. Doctors say I could easily have the scars removed with a quick surgery, but I kind of like 'em.
COLONEL QUARITCH This way, I'll never forget what they can do when they feel threatened.
DOB That can't be the best way to remember that.
COLONEL QUARITCH Yep. Just a couple of giant, unsettling, clearly-infected face scars to remind me that I f*****g hate aliens. Day 3: Landing on the Planet
DR. AUGUSTINE, NORM, JAKE and DOB are facing down a bunch of ENORMOUS RHINO BEARS with extra eyes and appendages that serve no clear function, evolutionarily speaking.
DR. AUGUSTINE Well all need to make sure-
DOB HOLY f*****g s**t!
DR. AUGUSTINE Quiet. Remain calm. Be careful and don't fire your weap-
[DOB fires several wild shots at the beasts.]