think, Encyclopedia?" Sally asked.
"It certainly is a curious mystery. You say all of the pumpkins were stolen? It would need to be someone with access to a truck, a large
truck, large enough to fit all of those pumpkins. Who could it have been?"
"There's more," Marty said.
"Oh, hold up, are you saying someone did
something with these pumpkins," Daniel asked. Marty nodded. "Word? OK, now
this is interesting. If someone, for example, is stealing and f*****g holes in these pumpkins, there's
a mystery. Probably wasn't Bugs if these pumpkins gotta buncha holes porked in him. It was probably... let's be honest, here, me."
"What? Oh, no, it was nothing like that. Some pumpkins were stolen, and the rest were
." Daniel's shoulders sank, his interest gone. "You don't understand, they were destroyed
. Like, by a monster
"Or a werewolf," Sally chimed in.
"Or f*****g Bugs with a hammer,
what is wrong with this town?"
"So," Encyclopedia said, "it would need to be someone with a truck and
access to blunt objects."
Encyclopedia Brown took out his notebook and wrote "investigate ice cream man." Daniel took out his and scribbled "make a novelization of that time I plowed the s**t out of Brown's mom; make nickname out of book title."
"I bet we can get to the bottom of this," Sally said.
I bet that whoever's responsible for stealing these raped pumpkins, is
the same guy
who spray-painted all those sexy drawings of my junk all over the children's hospital. I, of course, have a number of reliable alibis that would explain-"
"I hadn't actually heard about that," Encyclopedia interrupted.
"Oh no? Oh. Then forget I said anything, it's probably not even a mystery at all."
"We should really
focus on the mystery at hand," Sally said. "What do you suppose happened, Encyclopedia? I bet you can crack it in one guess, on account of how smart you are."
"Why, if I didn't know any better, Sally, I'd guess you got into your Mother's Halloween candy early. How