My Blogging Promise

A few days ago, my co-blogger Ian Cooper turned the blogging world on its ear by revealing he would no longer blog about Britney Spears. Many were shocked, but I wasn't surprised. Mostly because I know Ian, and I dislike him intensely. We all do. (Well, in truth, just me. Swaim only hated Ian when he thought he was Black.)

But giving up Britney is typical Ian. It's just the kind of uppity stunt he’d pull to prove to he’s better than we are. The same way he showboats his comedic work ethic by bringing you three separate stories in his Unnecessary News Round Ups. Where I come from, that’s too much work. One post. One joke.

Continue Reading Below

Advertisement

But not to be outdone, I too will raise the bar to show I can bring the funny without resorting to easy stories. For example, TMZ is running a really juicy piece today about James Eckhouse. Yes that’s right. Turns out that this balding Beverly Hills 90120 actor from fifteen years ago is now bald. See?

 

Well, I won’t blog about that. Too easy. Here’s other things I vow never to blog about:

Any story involving Ian Ziering

Any story about Paul Giamatti’s thoughts on theater vs. cinema

Continue Reading Below

Advertisement

Any story involving Raven Simone. Or if I do, I promise not to title it “_______’s, So Raven.” For example, if she were busted in a crackhouse, I might still blog about it, but I promise not to title the post “Smoking Crack’s SO Raven.”

Continue Reading Below

Advertisement

Any story about a possible Small Wonder reunion show.

Any story about Pamela Anderson where it is somehow impossible to make a joke about her breasts.

Any story involving a Mexican boy who glues himself to a bed, and if I do, I won’t use this graphic:

Continue Reading Below

Advertisement

 

Any story about Lindsay Lohan (Not the actress. I mean Lindsay Lohan the receptionist at Brickel Insurance in Des Moines.)

So there. Choke on it, Mr. Cooper.

___

Gladstone writes for Cracked and others. Go to Wayne Gladstone Lives in Maine to see all his published stuff, links to his other worthless endeavors, and his full name and state of residence.

 

 

To turn on reply notifications, click here

44 Comments

Load Comments

More Blogs

5 Meltdowns That Went Viral Before The Internet Existed

Everybody loves a good old-fashioned meltdown.

86

5 Iconic Movies Saved By Last-Minute Changes

Some of your favorite movie moments were added months after everyone went home.

109

5 'Romantic Triangle' Characters We Just Feel Sorry For

Fictional love triangles are always a rigged game.

148

5 Celebrities With Arguably More Interesting Parents

Many of today's celebrities have some real surprises in their family trees.

79

5 Scandals Covered Up By Prominent Universities

It seems like prominent schools are really big on making sure the ugly parts stay secret.

106

5 Actors Who Keep Playing Weirdly Specific Roles

They say the definition of insanity is doing the same thing again and again and expecting a different result.

82