"You can't keep doing this, Dan." I couldn't tell if that was an order or just Jack's way of saying he didn't believe in me. Either way, I'd show him.
"No, Dan, I haven't seen the nominationsâ¦though, I'll be honest, I don't see what it has to do with Cracked."
So confident, in fact, that I told all of my friends and family members to check out the nominations before I did. So confident, in fact, that I emailed all of my enemies and told them to suck it, (which was actually okay, because I sort of do that on a daily basis anyway). It was one of these enemies, (who, for the purposes of this column, I'll call "Gladstone"), that pointed out that I
And you know what? Even
When no one responded to my thread and, what's worse, no one corrected what I perceived to be an unfathomable spelling error, I called up Weblog founder Kevin Aylward. Our conversation went something like this:
Whose job is it to solve crimes?
There is much to show you.
The cops will come swooping in the seconds the credits roll.
The most unrealistic thing about fictional villains is that they don't get arrested until the plot calls for it.