"Soldier, please wake up. You're lucky I'm not throwing some Z's on that b***h, young man."
"I always be in school, but I be walkin' halls / A lot of teachers give me tests, but they be super hard / I get into some trouble, then my mama calls / But after I get out the office, I'mma tell 'em all dat I'mma superstar and that's best / Every time you see me up in class, my head on that desk / And when you see me on dem girls, you know that I'm super fresh / Yeah teacher, students, class, stupid (wait a min, mutha f**kas)."
Man, there is nothing more street than getting called to the principal's office and having your mom come pick you up. I like how he's simultaneously trying to come off as too cool for school, but also kinda worried about his grades. Dem girls probably think you are dumb as a rock, Soulja. For some reason, DeAndre (his real name) later gives us his exact grades, which are numbers I didn't think were even possible to get in school.
"I got a 47 up in math, a 67 in English, a 14 in science / Man, what the f**k is this? / Throw some D's on that b***h! [x4]"
Even f**king ceramics?!
I have a friend who picked up the fetal pig that we were supposed to be dissecting in biology class and made it dance around like a marionette on the table. Then he pretended it was conducting an invisible band and had it perform inappropriate masturbatory gestures with its hoofs. He passed. How in the s**t could you get a 14? And technically, DeAndre, a 67 is a D, but I guess I can't expect much from a guy with those math scores.
If you're looking for a new party game, Chris recommends you check out Cheer Up!, coming to Kickstarter later this year. Get your parent's permission before logging on.
Which Sci-Fi Trope Would You Bring To The Real World, And Why? Every summer, we're treated to the same buffet of three or four science fiction movies with the same basic conceits. There's man vs. aliens, man vs. robots, man vs. army of clones, and man vs. complicated time travel rules. With virtual reality and self-driving cars fast approaching, it's time to consider what type of sci-fi movie we want to be living in for the rest of our lives. Co-hosts Jack O'Brien and Adam Tod Brown are joined by Cracked's Tom Reimann and Josh Sargent and comedians David Huntsberger, Adam Newman, and Caitlin Gill to figure out which sci-fi trope would be the best to make a reality. Get your tickets to this live podcast here!
Hear the true sound of Chumbawamba in 4 Bizarre One-Hit Wonder Albums (Reviewed) and learn which one-hit wonder artist became a writer for Dr. Who in 6 Amazing Post-Fame Careers Of One-Hit Wonders.
Subscribe to our YouTube channel to see bizarre get turned up to 11 in The 5 Most Surreal Music Genres Around the World, and watch other videos you won't see on the site!
Also follow us on Facebook, because we're just one hit away from making it big. We can feel it!