Things have gotten so bad for the Emos that police have had to come in and protect them, a civic duty somewhat akin to guarding a child molester while he moves from one cell block to another. Thousands of presumably weeping Emos have started gathering in protest, foolishly making it all the easier for beefy Mexicans to round them up and smack the white lipstick off of their pimply faces. Put that in your livejournal, bitches. Fights have even broken out between the various subsets of self-involved Mexican teens. Marauding bands of Rockabilly kids clash with the Metalheads and Emos like it’s all some ridiculous re-enactment of The Warriors. Which, if it is, they should have better group names, like “the dEMOlitionists” or “RockaKILLy.” “Rockabilly” just doesn’t have the panache of “The Orphans.” Speaking of which, something I always wondered about that movie: if they’re penniless orphans, how did they all afford to get matching sets of rags made that say “The Orphans” on the back? But I digress. Hey, take a look at this Mexican anti-Emo hate site! Most of it is just bleeps and blips to me (I only read the Queen’s English), but I notice something about Emo being “gay” there on the right, and the linking article tells me they call themselves an “Anti-Emo Death Squad.” You know, I’m beginning to think this could be just the kind of important cause Mexico can finally gather behind. I predict we’ll be hearing a lot more from these brave citizens. I’d watch out if I were you, Scenesters (Jesus, just look at them. I can hardly stand it).