This is not a film. It is an insult. Do not abide it. If I find out a single Cracked Blog reader attended this movie on opening day, even if it results in sex, there will be hell to pay. Besides, do you really want to have sex with someone who would watch Meet the Spartans? Do you really want that inside of you?
Sometimes it's just a matter of making the US Department of Defense look, like, REALLY cool.
Actual impending doom like global climate change or mass extinction just makes people bored.
In some cases, the Marvel source material just did better.