There are two schools of thought about martinis. One says they should be stirred, and the other doesn't know how to drive a stick. The difference is something called class.

Playboy
You'll know it when you don't see it.

Class is dignity in a room full of Ed Hardy. Class is that little voice in your head that says, "Look your wife's sister in the eye when you make love to her." Class knows the spot on a woman's neck to drive her wild, and the spot on a man's neck to knock him unconscious. Curiously, both leave hickeys. Don't question it. That wouldn't be classy.

We'll buy the rights to 007 for a sawbuck
A steady gun hand is the only acceptable reason to water down a martini by shaking.

When you get drunk, that's sleazy. But when you're drunk on a martini, that's class. And when you're drinking martinis to silence your dark thoughts, enjoy your breakfast!

AMC
A good starting point is some bureaucrat mowing your lawn while you're hard at work.

Mix 4 parts gin over 1 part vermouth in a glass of ice, then strain it like a dying relationship. Pour into a cocktail glass shaped like the breast of the woman you love, and cold like her eyes on the day she left. Add an olive or, if you must, a twist of lemon because you're a bad person. No classier method of obliterating your consciousness may be had. Enjoy!