As a recently married man, I support Proposition 8: I donât want the sanctity of marriage sullied by queers, pedophiles, robosexuals and Californians. I simply will not stand by and watch the solemn, noble, sacred covenant of marriage be taken anything less than completely seriously. I take it so seriously, in fact, that Iâve recently undergone the painstaking (and again, totally sacred) process of becoming an ordained minister. No, seriously: Thatâs for real. Iâve completed my ordainment, and can now legally officiate a marriage that will be recognized in all fifty states. As you might expect, it was a long and arduous task involving years of study, strict spiritual discipline, studious reflection on the nature of man, and hopping across a series of crumbling pillars without spilling a glass of water to retrieve the precious Ajanti Dagger.
Forget 'morale-boosters,' we'd rather have the money.
Trends among women trigger a level of contempt that's way beyond what is deserved.
Buckle up. This article is gonna be wild.