This piece was written by the people who run the Cracked Store to tell you about products that are being sold there.
Your clunker of a car could be a high-tech mobile palace of safety, convenience, and comfort, but that change won't happen overnight. Oh wait, it could totally happen overnight, provided you equip it with these ten useful gadgets.
Have you ever worried about crashing into a moor or accidentally driving into the sea? The PanicSafe Emergency Locator and Car Charger records your position every two to three minutes, and sends it to seven of your contacts at the press of a button. It also automatically triggers if it senses impact, because you likely won't remember to push any buttons when you're crash-landing on the moon. And when you're not in danger, it charges your devices up to four times faster than standard chargers. Normally it retails for $79.99, but right now you can get it at a 37 percent markdown for just $49.99.
If getting behind the wheel gives you the spins like you just suffered through an old-timey carnival ride, then you need the Crystal Aura Car Air Purifier. It removes smoke, dust, and air pollutants from your car, reducing car sickness and increasing concentration. Plus, it makes your car not smell like rotten bananas! Normally this retails for $49, but right now you can get it at a 65 percent discount for $16.99.
If you're going to talk on the phone while you drive (and let's face it, what else are you going to do? Listen to another mixtape?), you might as well be safe about it. The BulletDrive Headset connects via Bluetooth to your device, so you can keep both hands on the wheel and your neck upright and not cranked sideways against a phone. Plus, you can charge it by plugging it into any cigarette lighter or 12V socket in your car. Normally the BulletDrive retails for $180, but right now you can jump on a 55 percent discount and get it for just $79.99.
There's no greater hassle than having to constantly keep your phone charged while listening to your music library and simultaneously using the GPS to try to find wherever the hell your court-mandated safe driving course is being held. Not to worry, though, as the Fast Wireless Car Charger will keep your device full of juice without taking up a connection port. And it acts as a hands-free mount! Right now you can get one for $19.99, 50 percent off the standard retail price of $39.99.
As Grandma used to say, leaving your GPS sitting on your lap is like throwing dice into Death's face while playing Russian Roulette with the Babadook. OK, maybe YOUR grandma never said that, but it's still plenty dangerous to have to look at your groin every time you need to see if you've missed your turn. The ExoMount Magnet Air Universal Smartphone Car Mount clips to any type of air vent, and uses a magnet connector to hold your phone and allow it to swivel in any direction you need. Normally this will set you back $29.95, but right now you can get one at 23 percent off for just $22.95.
Capture everything that happens behind the wheel with the GEKO Full-HD 1080p Dash Cam. Use it to document a cross-country road trip, or to snare some footage of ghosts as you barrel down an unlit stretch of backwoods highway with your headlights turned off. Plus it's programmed to activate whenever it detects a sharp turn, brake, or impact. Normally this dash cam retails for $99.99, but right now you can get one at 50 percent off for just $49.99.
The PowerItUp allows you to charge your devices while you're on your way to a skydiving festival, Renaissance Faire, bank heist, or just a normal thing that normal people do. It also doubles as a portable power bank, so you can keep your devices charged while at said skydiving festival, Renaissance Faire, or bank heist. Normally it retails for $39.95, but you can get one right now at 57 percent off for just $16.99.
The Sinji Magnet Mount allows for mounting and charging at the same time, so you can keep the GPS running and never have to worry about running out of juice or taking your eyes off the road. It can be attached anywhere on the dashboard you choose, for maximum convenience and visibility, and did we mention it harnesses the power of magnets! That's some futuristic shiz right there. Normally the Sinji Magnet Mount retails for $29, but you can get one right now at 37 percent off for just $17.99.
Let's say you're on a road trip with four of your best friends, family members, mortal enemies, or all of the above, and everyone needs to be able to keep their smartphones and tablets regularly charged. The RapidX X5 5-Port Car Charging Hub has five different USB charging ports that pump juice into your devices at twice the speed of standard USB chargers, so nobody in the car needs to fight over who gets to use the charger next. Normally the charging hub retails for $24.99, but right now you can get it at 20 percent off for just $19.99.
The emergency kit in your car probably consists of two Band-Aids and a copy of Whitney Houston's I'm Your Baby Tonight. And while that's not necessarily a bad kit, you need something a little more substantial. The Emergency Auto Survival Kit contains a number of vital tools and supplies to help you through any emergency, including a knife, a seat belt cutter, a window puncher, and an LED light. You'll also get gauze, ice packs, bandages, gloves, and a reusable glow stick. Normally this kit retails for $64.99, but you can get one right now at 29 percent off for $45.99.
Want more cool stuff for your ride? Check out 10 Cheap Ways To Make Your Car High-Tech.