It's a gripping journey; will they ever get all the way up there?
And in case you think I’m exaggerating in order to make this sound worse than it is, here is the real, actual logline they were using to market this movie:
“The film revolves around a group of people trapped in an elevator
, and one of them is the
Do you have loved ones? Tell them you’ve been depressed lately. Tell them you’ve been lonely and listless; that you were honestly thinking about ending it all, and then you discovered the joy of writing. Make sure they know, in no uncertain terms, that this is the only thing keeping you alive. Then tell them you wrote a story. When they ask what it’s about, say these exact words out loud: “It revolves around a group of people trapped in an elevator
, and one of them is the devil
The concept for this film is so stupid that, even with your very life at stake, the person who cares about you most in the world has just now laughed themselves into a Tourettic seizure and are currently twitching on the ground while screaming obscenities. Keep in mind they are doing this despite being
that this will shatter your fragile psyche and you will likely respond by sprinting into the bathroom to eat a Vicodin and Cognac Sandwich.
"Hahaha, oh god, oh god I'm going to miss you so much! Ahahaha shit!"
And remember that this is a three picture deal: A trilogy, a fucking saga
of M. Night Shyamalan conceived and written films. Now, don’t ask me how I did this--there was a lot of cocaine, a good amount of huddled crying and about four quarts of lard involved--but I managed to get my hands on the idea sheet of possible storylines for the next two movies in the series:
It was supposed to be the night of Mochachino’s life: She just landed the starring role in an all-transvestite rendition of