and I call my parents 'rents.' But that doesn’t mean I shouldn’t learn how to now, so when I am ready, I’ll be ready, you know?” Jadrian feels so strongly about this, he has even started a new club at school called Learn Or Lose (LOL), which promotes textual awareness. “We’re not promoting texting,” explains Jadrian. “We just think tweens these days should have as much information about it as possible, so they can make an informed decision and whatev happens is whatevs.” “Oh, wait!” interrupted Brytnee’s mom Britney. “There was a second of all. These tweens today. They think they’re so adult, but they’re sooo not. Don’t make me rofl. That’s a thing, right?  Rofl?" Brytnee is certainly sick of being told what to do, and she will continue texting, whether it’s behind Dry Hump Roller Rink, the Boneview Shopping Center, or in the privacy of her own bedroom. She complains, “I’m at the stage in my life where I’m almost close to becoming closer to the next step towards being a young adult. I mean, OMG, it’s not like I’m husking or something.” Husking, of course, is something that may or may not exist, and it is when two tweens rub their genitals together, sans penetration (or “penetrashe,” as the tweens call it). “No, I’ve never heard of husking,” says Brytnee’s mom Britney. “All I know is that behind that roller rink is disgusting. These tweens could catch something while they’re texting. I mean, come on!  We all know teenagers f**k back there.”

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