Mario's adventures began the day a monkey stole his then-girlfriend, a broad from New Jersey called Pauline. Of course, we now know this monkey to be the affable, rap-loving Donkey Kong, but take a step back for a second and imagine how terrifying this scenario must have seemed to a regular guy from Brooklyn.
Actually, you don't need to imagine, because he told us.
Initially, Mario seemed determined to take the "wait for the problem to resolve itself" approach, but it soon became apparent that this wasn't a viable option. Mainly because if he stood still for a single second, he'd end up crushed by a falling barrel.