Lindsay Lohan Is Boring, But FoxNews Doesn't Care

Normally, I wouldn't comment on a video. That's really an art best left to semi-literate, secular, Satanists like my cohort Ross Wolinsky, but while cruising FoxNews, I saw something truly shocking. A story on Lindsay Lohan that defied all expectations. Was she high? No. Was she having anonymous sex with a stranger? No. Was she exposing her genitalia? No. So where's the story? Well, according to FoxNews, LiLo was furious that photographers were snapping pictures of her from behind. Click here to watch Lindsay get mad FoxNews teased. So I clicked. I must say, her level of anger is truly terrifying. The way she screams. The flailing of arms, the spewing of expletives, the way she devours a baby kitten alive. Or the way she actually does none of that. Personally, I've gotten more pissed off waiting in a fast food drive thru line. But God bless FoxNews. Why would you ever let photographic evidence prevent you from writing a story about a "fuming" celebutante who "stormed off"? Oh, and God bless FoxNews for encrypting its vids with some code that required me to do the most awkward screen shot of all time. (And yes, I tried full screen, but it didn't work).
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