This piece was written by the people who run the Cracked Store to tell you about products that are being sold there.
Let's get down to brass tacks. Heck, let's go even further and get down to gold tacks. You're a nerd. We know because to get here, you had to see a thumbnail with a Baby Groot figurine and think to yourself, "Forget studying / work / scrolling through cat memes, this is the most important use of my time." And you know what? It is. Because today we're offering Loot Crate one-off mystery boxes to give you a taste of all the pop-cultury T-shirts, books, and figures you crave.
For the uninitiated, Loot Crate is a subscription service that delivers hand-picked geek gold to your door every month. And since we're nerds too, we know firsthand that Loot Crate is the best bundle of pop culture immersion you can get, short of being pulled into your TV Ring-style. You can kick-start your own personal pop culture archive with the following packages from Loot Crate:
Loot Crate Exclusive Mystery Bundle: 6-7 Items
Since committing to an infinite stream of pop collectibles sight unseen might feel a bit impulsive for budget-conscious fanatics, these mystery boxes are designed to give you a sampling of everything Loot Crate has to offer. Think of it as a Christmas present you send yourself, except instead of coming once a year, you get it every month, and instead of getting turtleneck sweaters picked out by your grandma, you're getting Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles collectibles picked out by comic book experts. This exclusive mystery bundle includes 6-7 items and is 50 percent off the usual $50 price.
Loot Crate Mystery Bundle: 5-6 Items
Just because this one doesn't have the word "exclusive" doesn't mean it won't be oozing with fresh geeky mucus. It's just going to be a different bundle of tchotchkes picked by a different professional nerd curator. Do you want superhero lingerie? Flux capacitor alarm clocks? Star Wars cat food? Well, there's no guarantee this crate has any of those things. However, we swear by Mjolnir that it will have stuff just as cool. The non-exclusive Mystery Bundle comes with 5-6 items, and best of all, instead of dragging yourself all over town to find the nearest comic book store, you can just get it here for $20.
Is that all?
Not in the slightest. You can find more subscription bundles filled to the brim with fandom by checking out our complete catalog in the Cracked Store. You can also shop for our pop culture mashup designs on T-shirts, art prints, and more in the Cracked Dispensary. And hey, after you get your Loot Crate, don't forget to make an unboxing video and post it on YouTube. Lord knows we don't have enough.
For more ways let your geek flag fly check out Get Your Geek On With These 10 Essential Nerd Items.
Things could always be much, much worse.
The cops will come swooping in the seconds the credits roll.
You've probably never heard of it.