See that? It's the clothes, yes, and the hair. The look of intensity. And it's the right leg up. The near identical positions of the arms. The fact that his jacket is blowing in the wind with the exact same intensity in each picture. How does something like that even happen? He's even going to the same destination in two different movies. One more time, with my notes now.
This might not be mind-blowing to you. There's a slight chance that I'm a little bit obsessed with Nicolas Cage. Okay, there's more than a slight chance, because it's clear that I sat around, watching a ton of Nicolas Cage movies searching for patterns, as if I was perversely recreating what I think is the plot from
I don't know what the moral of this story is. I suppose it could be "Don't see Knowing, because you already did except it was called Snake Eyes, and instead of the end of the world, it was a boxing match, and instead of numbers being the answer, it was Gary Sinise." That sure as hell doesn't sound like a moral. Maybe there is no moral. Regardless, all of the photo research that this article required brought me to my new favorite game that I'd love to share with you. It's called "Nicolas Cage." Unlike
But I gotta tell you, I had a blast. First of all, images of Nicolas Cage acting are inherently hilarious. Everyone knows that.
And it's even more fun when you add in the adventure of summing up the movie in a maximum of two sentences. If the movies were any good, this should really be a challenge, but I realized early on that it's nowhere near as difficult as it should be.
See? I've just shown and told you everything you will ever need to know about the movie
Congrats, you've just seen The Wicker Man. I could literally do this shit all day. And, if you find some spare time, grab a picture of Nicolas Cage, add some friggin' words, and post a link below If I like it, I'll add it to this page [spoiler alert: I will definitely like it].
Edit:FUCK YES! I'm getting these emails faster than I can put them up. I'm posting (almost) every single one I receive. I don't have a problem dedicated literally all of my day to this project.
[Hilarious to me because I have no idea what movie this is and Nicolas Cage is clearly covered in vomit or poop or something.--DOB.]
By Count Baqula
[Works for me because, as Baq pointed out, the line is equally applicable to his film career.--DOB]
[Was Nicolas Cage a vampire in something?? That's terrific! --DOB]
By Steven O.
Anthony[What fucking movie is this? His costume looks straight outta local theater, this is absurd.--DOB]
[Author requests you read this out loud through clenched teeth.--DOB]
[ Those two above Wicker Man posters came in at almost the exact time from two different people. How fucking awesome is that? When people are told to summarize Wicker Man, they independently come to the conclusion that being dressed as a bear and punching women was the only thing that happened. I think this might be the most important work I've ever done. -- DOB]
By Cracked Super Intern Randall!
By CRACKED Writer Jeff Kelly!
[I think the best thing is that we all clearly have no idea what Captain Corelli's Magical Mystery Mandolin was actually about. --DOB]
By Jeff Kelly Again!
[Man, look at the face of the guy who isn't Nicolas Cage. He's totally thinking "You're right, I DO talk like the wind." Look at how appreciated he feels --DOB]
[Things I love about this one: a) Cage is clearly struggling to understand this very simple concept. b) A chick made this one. Hot.--DOB]
By Jeff Kelly Again!
By Cracked Writer Malcolm Christiansen!
By Eric M.
By Boonehams again
This trilogy by Malcolm Christiansen is incredible.
By Robert Brockway!
By Malcolm again!
[Not technically following the rules, but I love this one because the idea that Nicolas Cage has as hard a time as we do figuring out which of his movies is which is hilarious to me.--DOB]
By Dan R.
SUPER UPDATE: I've received over 250 pictures of Nicolas Cage in my inbox and I am officially burnt out. We're still playing Nicolas Cage in the Forums, but I won't be posting anymore here. For now. This game is addicting.
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