, won! I did NOT see that coming. And I understand this Director accepting the award speaks English as a second language so I'm not criticizing his accent or limited vocabulary, but what's going on with his volume? I AM very hap-EEEE!!!! Drunk Status: I've lost my pants and I'm randomly IMing Facebook friends
8:15 PM PST-
It just occurred to me that "Tally Ho" is a beautiful example of how Britain's brutal empire-building has impacted and guided the history, culture, and language of India. Right after I realized that, it cut back to the British hosts and I shook my fist at them. Then they said that song was actually called "Jai Ho" and I realized it's the touching story of a Bombay prostitute named Jai Jai Binks (for money). And I wept, my friends. Liam Neeson was so badass in
I want him to be MY Dad. And I want La Femme Nikita to be my hot sister. And I want Leon from The Professional
to be my Dad's "best friend." Also, Ghoul Czar 2012!
> Weiner Update:
Dan O'Brien is a wiener. Now there's a list of dead people happening, but I'm choosing to let my capable colleagues risk hauntings by mocking that part of the show.
8:20 PM PST-
Reese Witherspoon is wearing a stupid dress and honoring the Best Director. I haven't checked the nominations, but I think Christopher Nolan is a lock for this category. He did an amazing job with the humble story of a costumed vigilante and really spoke to the larger issues plaguing Darfur, (probably).
I am not messaging GLADSTONE's facebook friends. Wiener Status:
Swaim is a winner. It's true. As much as I personally despise Swaim, my dick is a huge (HUGE) fan of his internet comedy. It's a shame those two can't get along.
8:25 PM PST-
I don't think Slumdog
deserves to win, necessarily, but Boyle is a damn fine director. Working as a waiter in Nantucket one summer, I went to see a special screening of 28 Days Later
in the only theater on the island. There were like 300 people there - all dickheads in pink popped collar Polos - and only later did I realize Boyle himself was attending. He gave a little speech before the movie about filmmaking, took some questions, and seemed like a nice guy overall. At the time, I was like "who the f**k is this guy? Get to the zombies, b***h." But man, after