There it goes, man. Bus load of tiny dicks. Seriously though, the bus? What does that even mean? Boating in a swimsuit? The questionnaire is 27 questions long. Among the other 26, this person didn’t make a single joke, so I was forced to re-read this answer a few times to try and determine if this was supposed to be a joke. My conclusion was that this was sincere and this man has been shouldering the heavy burden of massive blood thinning every time he has an erection. If he were to get aroused in the middle of a nose bleed, he would probably die. I had to include this one because, frankly, I see this too often and I’m sure you do too. You’re walking along in your Speedo and your peers are all “here comes the behemoth!” and they all point at your massive dick or use a laser pointer to point at your massive dick or they stop you and have a guy do one of those hilarious caricature portraits of you and your massive dick and in the picture your massive dick is actually some manner of serpent coiling out of your pant-leg and devouring small children. And then later, you’re with the water polo team, and the guys on your water polo team, the ones who didn’t get caught in the undertow of your dick moving through the water, suggest that you do porn. That’s happened to me twice since I started writing this article. Only replace “water polo” and “guys talking about my dick” with stuff that’s about 50 times less queer. Ladies, let this be a lesson to you if you’re in the market for a well-endowed man: Apparently they all play water polo. Then, let this be a warning to you, as apparently they’re all extremely gay. So gay guys, let this be a lesson to you. Now, you were probably wondering about that dunking in the toilet question. I know I was, and I find myself giving the bowl a quick look every time I go to the can now, just in case there’s something lurking in there. And while most people curiously answered this question with a simple “yes” implying that there are many toilets out there far more full than mine, a few people decided to at least be a little more explicit with their answers. The fact someone typed that out is quite frankly a wonder to me, but that’s neither here nor there. The logistics are what I’m finding curious at this point. As near as I can tell, this means there’s someone out there, possibly at this very moment, sitting on the can holding his nutsack in one hand in order to stop himself from chumming the waters below.