Not a vaper? Maybe you're a blunter. The biggest bummer about blunts, though, is that rolling papers suck. They're wasteful, they're annoying to keep buying, and if you have the dexterity of the typical Cracked writer, using them usually results in paper macheing your fingers to your face. The Twisty Glass Blunt completely eliminates the need for rolling papers. Just pack the tube, twist the screw, light the end, and you're good to go. Once you're done kicking back, twist the screw out and the ash leaves cleanly. The only way we could make this more low-maintenance is if the blunt gained sentience and packed itself. Sadly, the science just isn't there yet.
The easiest way to kill the mood is when you're just about to smoke and your lighter gives out. Now, instead of sweet release, you're driving to 7/11, white-knuckling the steering wheel as you sit behind the slowest Chevy Tahoe in the world. That's why you need the Flameless USB Travel Lighter. Not only is it completely lighter-fluid-free (thanks, Captain Planet!), but it also comes with a USB charger, so the only 7/11 runs you ever have to make will be your regularly scheduled 4 a.m. nacho and Slurpee trips.