So, according to him, Katt Williams tried to fake a fight, got his ass kicked, and still told Wash he wanted to meet him at the same spot so they can fight again. This is a bit disappointing, because at this point I expect every new crazy action of Williams' to be bigger and better than the last. Another man vs. boy fight on a playground isn't going to be impressive enough.
Why would he want to draw attention to himself? Well, he just so happens to be in the middle of a tour, which coincidentally is called "Conspiracy Theory." I'm just saying, what might have started out as a plan to get some good press by handing out money and having a fun game of soccer with some kids, could suddenly have gone terribly wrong.
This Could Be A Cry For Help
Vince Bucci/Getty Images Entertainment/Getty Images
You think I've come close to covering all the stuff Williams has been up to in the last few months? Nope! I honestly don't know how he fits so much into so little time.
The day after he and his entourage attacked that group of women, Williams was arrested for throwing a pair of swimming goggles at a pool store clerk. He claims he did it because the clerk used the N-word on the last day of Black History Month (would it have been less offensive in other months?), but even if the clerk was a dick, most people manage to go their whole lives without interacting with the cops two days in a row. But Williams is so familiar with the procedure that when they showed up he was already lying on the ground with his hands behind his back, ready to go to jail.
I had more than a dozen mugshots to choose from. Seriously.
Two days after that he was in L.A. and managed to get in a fight while helping the victims of a car accident. He didn't cause the accident. Even when being a Good Samaritan this guy can't get away without throwing a few punches. And when the police were called again he found himself charged with misdemeanor battery on two coasts within three days. Four days later he was performing at a concert, and after doing a manic set of pushups, he ran across the stage and elbowed a random guy in the face (sucker-elbowed?). You have to admit, Williams is committed to being himself.
But the final straw, and there are so many straws at this point that we are being smothered by the haystack, was when one of Williams' bodyguards, Corey Dixon, claimed he was asked to do something illegal (we don't know what, so let your mind wander, because it could be LITERALLY ANYTHING), and when he refused Williams choked him and beat him with a baseball bat. (It's nice to know the many and varied ways this comedian chooses to hurt people. It really shows his creative side.) Police raided Williams' home and found huge amounts of weed as well as plenty of guns. He was booked for crimes ranging from weapons charges to fucking terroristic threats, but released on $60,000 bond because our legal system is so messed up sometimes.
You might not be aware of this if you have stayed on the right side of the law, but one of the things they frown on when you're out on bail, along with drugs, alcohol, and guns, is SUCKER-PUNCHING A KID IN THE HEAD. Within hours of this new crime coming to light, people on Twitter were questioning if Williams even wanted to be out of jail.
And that's a fair question. Whether it is jail or a psychiatric facility, he needs to be somewhere safe so I don't find myself writing another one of these articles in four years.
Kathy wrote a very funny book called FUNERALS TO DIE FOR, and you can buy it here. Or follow her on Facebook, Tumblr, and Twitter.
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