New this week in the Outrageous and Ridiculous Claims Department, Kanye West says he and Justin Timberlake are this generation's Prince and Michael Jackson, respectively. Astute music scholars will have recognized the parallels sooner, citing Prince's early work where he often collaborated with Maroon 5's Adam Levine and, in 1987, famously criticized then president Reagan for not "car[ing] about black people in leopard blouses and purple eyeliner." If Kanye's right, (though, why would he start now), look for Timberlake to build a personal amusement park in his backyard, dangle his oddly-named children from his balcony, and shift ethnicity from white to, I'll guess Asian, by 2010. Also, "Dick in a Box" will take on an ironic and totally terrifying new meaning when JT enters into his pederast years.
Forget 'morale-boosters,' we'd rather have the money.
Trends among women trigger a level of contempt that's way beyond what is deserved.
Buckle up. This article is gonna be wild.