? I doubt it! Itâs called correlation
, and itâs science.
Not to mention the first-hand evidence I get every day listening to my own children! I made the grave error of allowing my 16-year-old to go to a friendâs house without my full supervision (last time I make that mistake!), and lo and behold he comes home saying things like âyou wouldnât believe how many crabs I got todayâ and âa hook, right to the mouth. Thatâs how you get them.â
I can only imagine heâs describing making love to a prostitute, then killing her with a massive meat hook. And if thatâs the kind of âvirtual experienceâ
is delivering to our youngsters, you can count me out!
Itâs time for parents to band together, crush these filth mongers, and reclaim our kids! Letâs take a page from President Bushâs playbook and preemptively strike! Judge before
playing, condemn before
understanding, and be afraid of things that you think
may be happening. Itâs the way our countryâs been run for the last eight years, and if you ask me it's the only way to keep our daughters from injecting crack into their nipples.
In the meantime, Iâll be confining my
childrenâs video gaming to good, wholesome religious games like this Halo
Iâve been hearing about.
When not blogging for Cracked, Michael tries to catch up on episodes of Peep Show
as head writer and co-founder of Those Aren't Muskets!
Recommended For Your Pleasure