? I doubt it! It’s called correlation
, and it’s science.
Not to mention the first-hand evidence I get every day listening to my own children! I made the grave error of allowing my 16-year-old to go to a friend’s house without my full supervision (last time I make that mistake!), and lo and behold he comes home saying things like “you wouldn’t believe how many crabs I got today” and “a hook, right to the mouth. That’s how you get them.”
I can only imagine he’s describing making love to a prostitute, then killing her with a massive meat hook. And if that’s the kind of “virtual experience”
is delivering to our youngsters, you can count me out!
It’s time for parents to band together, crush these filth mongers, and reclaim our kids! Let’s take a page from President Bush’s playbook and preemptively strike! Judge before
playing, condemn before
understanding, and be afraid of things that you think
may be happening. It’s the way our country’s been run for the last eight years, and if you ask me it's the only way to keep our daughters from injecting crack into their nipples.
In the meantime, I’ll be confining my
children’s video gaming to good, wholesome religious games like this Halo
I’ve been hearing about.
When not blogging for Cracked, Michael tries to catch up on episodes of Peep Show
as head writer and co-founder of Those Aren't Muskets!
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