I had no real interest in picking up a hitchhiker, but when I passed by we locked eyes and she looked so sad and cold, and my little Daniel heart broke for her. I thought, What the hell, I'll give her a ride, make this my good deed of the week, I'll be a Good Samaritan. And at least it's something to do. (There is seriously nothing going on in South Jersey in the winter.)
It's Really Easy to Get One in Your Car (Especially if You're Dumb!)
For the uninitiated, let me be the first to tell you: Getting a prostitute into your car is easy as pie. I pulled up next to her, introduced myself and asked if she needed a ride, and she hopped in my car, which I took to mean "Yes." So that part was easy. Getting her out once you realize she's a prostitute, on the other hand, now that is difficult.
But we weren't there yet. I had just politely offered to take her for a ride, and she sat down next to me, with all of her potential germs, right in the passenger seat of my car (which, incidentally, has since been sold to a cousin of mine I don't particularly care for). We made idle chit chat, she asked me what I was up to, and I explained that I was a bored student at the nearby university, just driving aimlessly and looking for a fun evening. [As an aside, if you ever want to not have sex with a prostitute, I will say that picking one up and telling her that you're "bored and looking for fun" is probably one of the most misleading combinations of things you can do.]
"I'm looking for fun, if you know what I'm saying. I'm saying I want to play laser tag."