This piece was written by the people who run the Cracked Store to tell you about products that are being sold there.
Black Friday is just around the corner, but you don't have to wait until then to bask in the glow of cash-saving deals. Here are nine items that you can pick up on the cheap that deliver loads of value.
If you want to feel eight years old again as you rock out on Steam all night long, you should pick up the 8BitDo N30 Bluetooth Gamepad. Designed as a near-exact replica of an NES controller (with a few more buttons, because the world has moved on), it's completely compatible with Mac OS, Windows, Android, Raspberry Pi, and even the Nintendo Switch. Now you can truly transport yourself back in time to the Saturday you stayed up until 4 a.m. playing
The All Mighty Tank is the remote-controlled spy you never knew you wanted. You can control it via smartphone and use it to stream video straight to your devices. It's also a rad toy tank that you can use to crush your enemies. (Provided your enemies are very small.) Normally it sells for $149.99, but right now you can get one at 56 percent off for $64.99.
You're probably tired of neighbors mooching off your wireless signal, even though you still want them to see the clever name you gave your network. That's why you need Gryphon. Gryphon is the ultimate secure router, blocking suspicious devices from accessing your signal, so nobody can hop in and just swipe all the PG-13-and-over photos from that one folder on your iPhone. It also blocks malicious websites and malware, and has parental controls to keep your nieces and nephews from accidentally stumbling upon unsavory videos while trying to watch Steven Universe. Normally the Gryphon would set you back $249.99, but you can slap 16 percent right off the face of that price and get one for $209.99.
If you're in the habit of breaking everything in your house like some kind of cyclone of clumsiness, or if you're a crafty kind of person who likes to fix things your own damn self, then make sure you pick up some FiberFix Total Glue. This glue bonds to virtually any surface, and cures within five seconds after being flashed with the included blue light, like a magic wand. It's also totally sandable and paintable, which makes it a welcome part of any project, whether you're building a birdhouse or assembling a Warhammer miniature. A two-pack of FiberFix Total Glue sells for $19.99, but you can take 10 percent off and get one for $17.99.
Toolcard Pro is like carrying Batman's entire utility belt in a business card. It includes 40 common tools within a stainless-steel rectangle, including multiple wrenches and screwdrivers, bottle and can openers, a wire cutter, and more. It's the next best thing to having a Wonder Twin ring, and perhaps even better, because unlike the Wonder Twins, at least you'll be likable. The Toolcard Pro normally sells for $25.95, but right now you can get one at 15 percent off for $21.95.
If you like taking notes or writing drafts by hand, but find yourself spending hours retyping it all into your word processor, then you need the Scanmarker Air Wireless OCR Pen Scanner. Simply scan any line of text, and within a few seconds it can retype it into virtually any browser or program, including Microsoft Word, Excel, Gmail, and Facebook.
It can even translate your writing into over 40 languages and read it back to you as you scan, so you can have your dream journal available in all the languages of the world. Finally, there's a device that will allow you to quickly copy a classmate's notes because you skipped class to see Venom. Normally the Scanmarker Air sells for $119, but you can get one at 25 percent off for $89.
The Flyington Selfie Drone is minute enough to fit in your palm, but can flip, roll, and slice through the air like a Top Gun graduate. It takes real-time videos and photos that can be transmitted directly to your phone. Your phone can also be used to fly it with tilt controls and a companion app, because it's not 2018 unless your phone can fly an airplane. There's even a one-button landing option, so you never need to worry about crashing this little guy while capturing amazing aerial footage. Normally the Flyington Selfie Drone sells for $79.99, but right now you can take 12 percent off that price and get one for just $69.99.
Between super expensive cable packages and multiple streaming services splitting all your favorite shows up into different subscriptions, it's gotten to the point where you have to choose between good TV and eating. OR you can look to cut the cord completely and kick it old-school with network television. If so, check out the ANTOP AT-400 4K/Ultra HD TV Antenna.
ANTOP is a digital antenna that gives you HD-quality access to free over-the-air TV signals without having to mount a gigantic ugly dish and a forest of cables on your roof. You don't need to worry about buying multiple antennas, either. The ANTOP can feed a signal to several different televisions at the same time, and it supports HDTV, 1080p TV, and 4K Ultra HD, so you'll always be watching the best version of The Simpsons available (as long as it's from before Season 10). Normally the ANTOP AT-400 sells for $129.99, but you can take 38 percent off that price and get it for only $79.99.
If you want your life to be like a movie with your very own theme song bellowing wherever you go, be it in the shower, on a mountaintop, or at the bottom of the sea, look no further than the ToughSound Waterproof Bluetooth Speaker. It connects to your wireless devices via Bluetooth 4.1 and is shockproof and waterproof, so the tunes will keep on playing even if you drop it off a cliff or an otter steals it. Plus, it clips to your backpack and can be mounted on your vehicle of choice using the included bicycle bracket and suction cup. The ToughSound usually sells for $59.99, but Cracked readers can knock 50 percent off that price and get one for only $29.99.
Already feel the Winter Blues coming on? Check out these 6 Items From Our Store To Help Holiday Sadness.
I don't usually go in for conspiracy theories.
Movies are never more unrealistic than when they're showing us exactly what a dollar can buy.