Jam (Turn It Up)
Even her hair seems a little embarrassed by it, as it appears to be trying to escape her head.
The title alone should tell you everything you need to know about the song, that it was composed by someone who knows nothing about irony. Any song with a subtitle is already veering dangerously close to the Ridiculous Chasm, and to then pick (Turn It Up) -- the third most cliched subtitle after (Baby) and (Luvya Luvya Sex Panther) -- is sheer idiocy.
No, She's Not That Bad: She Stopped Making Music Videos
But like before, if she's in a situation where idiots will throw money at her and tell her she can make a music video, why wouldn't she try it out? And when she realized that she had no business making music videos, and that birds would stop attacking her if she stopped, she stopped. The music industry could quite frankly use more of that kind of self-awareness, even if it does hurt the bird-protection industry. ________________________ If I know my readers, it's that they're now desperate for me to conclude this article in a completely unsatisfactory way. And not wanting to disappoint, I've decided to split the difference and not really take a stand one way or another. Yes, if set down in almost any other time and place in the thousands of years of human history, Kim Kardashian would be regarded as an idiot. She's got the kind of skill set and demeanor and grating voice which would immediately motivate her peers to throw her at leopards, even if leopards weren't readily available.
But in the modern era, where leopards are protected, and bananas come with warning labels, and a television channel called E! can thrive, she's just not that remarkably dumb. To be clear, that gross spectacle of a wedding was one of the single stupidest events to have happened in human history. But Kim didn't do it alone -- she had a family of idiots supporting her, and dozens and hundreds of professional idiots working to organize it, and millions of idiots, eager to witness a royal wedding (of ass-based royalty), who put her in the position where she could pull it off. Amongst this crowd, Kim's the smartest one standing. ________________________
For more in depth Celebrity analysis from Bucholz, check out Justin Bieber's Favorite Knife Fighting Techniques and 'I hate cancer patients': John Mayer is Too Candid (Again).
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