This piece was written by the Cracked Shop to tell you about products that are being sold there.
There are two ways to approach life. You can surround yourself with the mundane and the boring, or you can really put yourself out there and acquire some truly fanciful, beautiful, strange devices. This roundup of Cracked Shop goodies is for all you dreamers out there who dare to look at your normal metal blade fan and say, "No. 'Tis the future I seek."
You need an outlet for your stress at work, whether it's squeezing a ball, chewing on a pen, or hurling an axe against a wall over and over again. The TEC Accessories Orbiter is the futuristic, magnetic take on this concept, with a unique fidget device that offers the chance to play with small, relaxing, repetitive movements.
Only a fool packs their bags by haphazardly stuffing all their items into a box before embarking on a journey. A true genius uses compression-packing cubes to keep their clothes tightly sealed, protected, and efficiently spaced. These bags here are for the geniuses.
These earbuds have literal stardust in them. Yeah, you heard us. We're talking about beryllium, the finest material for the crafting of tiny ear-hole-sized speakers. Did the makers travel to the stars to get the beryllium? We're not telling.
Body hair is the great enemy of the modern man. Cleanse yourself of this pestilence with "The Ape" BAKblade 2.0 Elite Razor, with a sleek ergonomic handle and a ruthless approach to hair. No mercy, no quarter, only shaving.
Normally $49, grab yours in the Cracked Shop for just $32.95.
We rarely make smart decisions when it comes to our sleep schedule. Fire Emblem just came out, after all, and those fires aren't going to emblem themselves. Let your clock be smart for you with this alarm clock, which integrates your cellphone for Spotify-fueled wake-up playlists and a white noise generator for deeper sleep.
People will stare, wondering, "Why is that incredibly attractive person waving a giant bubble-blower around their face? Also, where is that breeze coming from?" The poor fools will never understand that you are cooling yourself down with a cutting-edge blade-less fan/charger (thanks to the handy included USB cable).
Normally $21.99, grab yours in the Cracked Shop for just $18.99.
If you've ever been disappointed by the built-in speakers in your smart home device, this smart speaker can boost them to accommodate your parties or general love for all things loud.
Normally $129.99, grab yours in the Cracked Shop for just $99.
So you arrive at your office, plop down in your chair, take off your headphones and ... what? Throw them on the desk? What are you, a caveman? No! Hang them from this stylish headphone hanger, and let everyone in the office know that you've got style AND class.
Normally $27.99, grab yours in the Cracked Shop for just $24.99.
A dull knife is much more likely to get you sent to the ER than a sharp one, because it requires you to resort to sawing and slashing like a deranged woodsman. Thankfully, worn-out cutlery won't be a problem for you with this knife block, which sharpens your blades every time you pull them out.
You can get this kit now for only $69, more than half off the $150 MSRP.
OK, so this last one isn't actually a gadget, but it can help you take the gadget you use to snap photos up a notch. From photography basics to storytelling with mobile photography, this course will help you channel your inner shutterbug whether you're shooting on a DSLR or smartphone. Your brunch photos and your friends appearing in brunch photos will thank you for it.
Prices are subject to change.
But don't stop here. You Basically Need These 10 Gadgets And Doodads In Your Life.
Things could always be much, much worse.
The cops will come swooping in the seconds the credits roll.
You've probably never heard of it.
The most unrealistic thing about fictional villains is that they don't get arrested until the plot calls for it.