A NOTE FROM EDITOR IN CHIEF JACK O'BRIEN: Cody Johnston is the newest addition to the roster of Cracked columnists. The first thing you need to come to terms with is that Cody is ... different. Not the euphemistic "different" a father might use when consoling an ugly child. More like the euphemistic "different" psychiatric professionals use to describe the patient whose roommates keep swallowing their tongues. As such, his schedule will be different. He's going to post videos, songs and other things we've not seen in these parts and he's going to post often. Some of his stuff will be sane enough to share with the masses on the front page, and some you'll have to come find for yourself. But it will always leave you feeling at least a little bit, well, different. So hold on to your butts and try not to swallow your tongues (we recommend you use both hands for this) because, if you're lucky, it's going to be a weird ride.
The main benefit of watching TV is seeing the plight of sad bastards who aren't you.
The 'wellness' market is thriving right now.
Most people have a pretty basic idea of what it's like to be a parent.
There's no shortage of downright absurd conspiracy theories out there.