A NOTE FROM EDITOR IN CHIEF JACK O'BRIEN: Cody Johnston is the newest addition to the roster of Cracked columnists. The first thing you need to come to terms with is that Cody is ... different. Not the euphemistic "different" a father might use when consoling an ugly child. More like the euphemistic "different" psychiatric professionals use to describe the patient whose roommates keep swallowing their tongues. As such, his schedule will be different. He's going to post
This should have resulted in years of therapy.
Sometimes it's just a matter of making the US Department of Defense look, like, REALLY cool.
Actual impending doom like global climate change or mass extinction just makes people bored.