A NOTE FROM EDITOR IN CHIEF JACK O'BRIEN: Cody Johnston is the newest addition to the roster of Cracked columnists. The first thing you need to come to terms with is that Cody is ... different. Not the euphemistic "different" a father might use when consoling an ugly child. More like the euphemistic "different" psychiatric professionals use to describe the patient whose roommates keep swallowing their tongues. As such, his schedule will be different. He's going to post
Things could always be much, much worse.
The cops will come swooping in the seconds the credits roll.
You've probably never heard of it.