A-Jack of the Clones not been such a raging coward, I’d be sitting pretty in Texas right now, soaring over a bunch of understandably impressed bloggers in my Cracked.com Jet Pack. But that isn’t the case. I wasn’t there and, surprise surprise, something huge happened. Had I been there, I’d be able to give you fine readers first-hand accounts of one of the most talked about Facebook-related controversies of the new millennium. Apparently, Sarah Lacy, the woman who, for no discernible reason, was tasked with interviewing youngest billionaire on the planet and Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg, did such an awful job as an interviewer that audience members were booing, shouting out insults, and doing whatever else it is that nerds do when they get cranky. Lacy was reportedly too giggly and flirty, seldom asked any actual worthwhile questions and often interrupted Zuckerberg as he was in mid-sentence. The article, (that I didn’t write because I didn’t f*****g see the interview), goes on to say that Lacy implied she might pour water on Zuckerberg, made up a story about Zuckerberg burning a series of his personal journals, and one blogger you’ve never heard of said “"It sounds like the Zuckerberg keynote was one of the worst things in Internet history.” Got that, everyone? One of the worst things in Internet history. This is the same Internet that brought us 2girls1cup, goatse, that b***h who plays Hannah Montana’s webshow, and stale jokes that never made sense to begin with: You don’t just throw around “one of the worst things in Internet history” lightly. This event, described by Wired as total “chaos,” will be talked about for years and years to come. And where was Cracked.com’s Senior Stupid Internet s**t Correspondent while all this was going on? Where was he, you ask? He was sitting alone in his apartment in his underwear, spilling nachos on his stomach and missing the story of the century because someone was too cheap to shill out the necessary $86,000. Maybe when he learns to recognize a gifted journalist when he sees one, he'll get his wallet back. Probably not though.

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Some more of Daniel's stuff can be found here and sometimes here. But not here.

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