13 Great Uses For Bad Dialogue From 'True Detective'

True Detective gets a lot of crap for having characters that speak in complicated, pseudo-philosophical riddles that have dumb answers. In a True Detective world, everyone's always on LSD, and saying "In order to achieve the purity of contentment, one must recapture the simple pleasure of suckling from a breast like a babe" is how wives ask husbands to pick up a gallon of milk on the way home.

The dialogue's overwrought, and sometimes its stupidity is inversely proportional to how smart it's trying to sound -- and that's why every Hollywood movie deserves a little bit of it. Every blockbuster would be improved by the ravings of an alcoholic sage with a few bullet wounds who's seen his fair share of cult orgies.

Continue Reading Below

Advertisement

Advertisement

13
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

Continue Reading Below

Advertisement

Continue Reading Below

Advertisement

12
Star Wars: The Force Awakens

Continue Reading Below

Advertisement

11
Jurassic World

Continue Reading Below

Advertisement

Continue Reading Below

Advertisement

10
Inside Out

Continue Reading Below

Advertisement

9
Avengers: Age Of Ultron

Continue Reading Below

Advertisement

Continue Reading Below

Advertisement

8
Magic Mike

Continue Reading Below

Advertisement

7
Spectre

Continue Reading Below

Advertisement

Continue Reading Below

Advertisement

6
Terminator Genisys

Continue Reading Below

Advertisement

5
Fantastic Four

Continue Reading Below

Advertisement

Continue Reading Below

Advertisement

4
SpongeBob SquarePants

Continue Reading Below

Advertisement

3
Home

Continue Reading Below

Advertisement

Continue Reading Below

Advertisement

2
Ant-Man

Continue Reading Below

Advertisement

1
The LEGO Movie

Continue Reading Below

Advertisement

True Detective isn't the only perpetrator of overwrought dialogue. See how Zach Braff shoves symbolism so far down your throat in Garden State that you reflexively gag in The Top 5 Worst Lines Of Dialogue From Movies That Don't Actually Suck. And check out 5 Current TV Shows That Get More Praise Than They Deserve to understand why True Detective could never possibly live up to our expectations.

Subscribe to our YouTube channel to see a movie that is the antithesis of True Detective, yet still stars Matthew McConaughey in Officially The Worst Movie Idea Anyone Has Ever Had, as well as watch other videos you won't see on the site!

Also follow us on Facebook because art imitates life and life imitates Facebook.

To turn on reply notifications, click here

146 Comments

Load Comments

More Blogs

5 Cartoon Moments That Would Traumatize The Characters

This should have resulted in years of therapy.

95

12 Weird Changes The Government Asked Famous Movies to Make

Sometimes it's just a matter of making the US Department of Defense look, like, REALLY cool.

126

5 Apocalypse Scenarios You Should Stop Worrying About

Actual impending doom like global climate change or mass extinction just makes people bored.

182

11 Everyday Gadgets That Just Wouldn't Die

Nothing lasts forever ... except these things.

94

5 Ways People Are Faking Having Better Lives On Social Media

Some people's social media feeds are a buffet of lies and deceit.

103

The 5 Worst Changes The MCU Made To The Source Material

In some cases, the Marvel source material just did better.

160