True Detective gets a lot of crap for having characters that speak in complicated, pseudo-philosophical riddles that have dumb answers. In a True Detective world, everyone's always on LSD, and saying "In order to achieve the purity of contentment, one must recapture the simple pleasure of suckling from a breast like a babe" is how wives ask husbands to pick up a gallon of milk on the way home.
The dialogue's overwrought, and sometimes its stupidity is inversely proportional to how smart it's trying to sound -- and that's why every Hollywood movie deserves a little bit of it. Every blockbuster would be improved by the ravings of an alcoholic sage with a few bullet wounds who's seen his fair share of cult orgies.
True Detective isn't the only perpetrator of overwrought dialogue. See how Zach Braff shoves symbolism so far down your throat in Garden State that you reflexively gag in The Top 5 Worst Lines Of Dialogue From Movies That Don't Actually Suck. And check out 5 Current TV Shows That Get More Praise Than They Deserve to understand why True Detective could never possibly live up to our expectations.
Subscribe to our YouTube channel to see a movie that is the antithesis of True Detective, yet still stars Matthew McConaughey in Officially The Worst Movie Idea Anyone Has Ever Had, as well as watch other videos you won't see on the site!
Also follow us on Facebook because art imitates life and life imitates Facebook.
We will continue to see one of the most common (and lamest) storytelling tropes for a long time.
Businesses still have no idea how to market themselves to women.
We're moving toward an entirely delivery-based economy ... but there may be some people you WON'T want knowing your address.
How exactly do you get gigs like these?