13 Great Uses For Bad Dialogue From 'True Detective'

True Detective gets a lot of crap for having characters that speak in complicated, pseudo-philosophical riddles that have dumb answers. In a True Detective world, everyone's always on LSD, and saying "In order to achieve the purity of contentment, one must recapture the simple pleasure of suckling from a breast like a babe" is how wives ask husbands to pick up a gallon of milk on the way home.

The dialogue's overwrought, and sometimes its stupidity is inversely proportional to how smart it's trying to sound -- and that's why every Hollywood movie deserves a little bit of it. Every blockbuster would be improved by the ravings of an alcoholic sage with a few bullet wounds who's seen his fair share of cult orgies.

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Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

13 Great Uses For Bad Dialogue From 'True Detective'

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Star Wars: The Force Awakens

13 Great Uses For Bad Dialogue From 'True Detective'

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Jurassic World

13 Great Uses For Bad Dialogue From 'True Detective'

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Inside Out

13 Great Uses For Bad Dialogue From 'True Detective'

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Avengers: Age Of Ultron

13 Great Uses For Bad Dialogue From 'True Detective'

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Magic Mike

13 Great Uses For Bad Dialogue From 'True Detective'

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Spectre

13 Great Uses For Bad Dialogue From 'True Detective'

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Terminator Genisys

13 Great Uses For Bad Dialogue From 'True Detective'

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Fantastic Four

13 Great Uses For Bad Dialogue From 'True Detective'

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SpongeBob SquarePants

13 Great Uses For Bad Dialogue From 'True Detective'

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Home

13 Great Uses For Bad Dialogue From 'True Detective'

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Ant-Man

13 Great Uses For Bad Dialogue From 'True Detective'

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The LEGO Movie

13 Great Uses For Bad Dialogue From 'True Detective'

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True Detective isn't the only perpetrator of overwrought dialogue. See how Zach Braff shoves symbolism so far down your throat in Garden State that you reflexively gag in The Top 5 Worst Lines Of Dialogue From Movies That Don't Actually Suck. And check out 5 Current TV Shows That Get More Praise Than They Deserve to understand why True Detective could never possibly live up to our expectations.

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