Adorable two-story craftsman home with panoramic South American jungle views will leave you and your family breathless. Expect mild altitude sickness without oxygen mask. Inaccessible by car or foot, but generous landing space for helicopter, hot air balloon, or dirigible.
Built by hand in the 1940s, this quirky property requires slight repairs. Plumbing was destroyed by prior tenant, who uprooted the entire foundation with a delightful DIY balloon-powered apparatus in lieu of jackscrews. Some now-petrified human waste is in need of removal.
We recommend hovering the house above a chasm to relieve oneself over the edge.
Adventure awaits the natural outdoorsman. Hiking and rock-climbing opportunities are endless, rare wildlife roams freely through the secluded household, and the feral dogs eking out a desperate existence on your alluringly stark, rocky, and popped-balloon-strewn front lawn will be happy to converse with you about their desperate struggle for survival after their former master abandoned them. But don't worry about troublesome neighbors -- the community's only remaining occupant departed suddenly after forming a lifetime of memories in Paradise Falls.
Property is partially furnished. Two chairs, ottoman, and gramophone, along with assorted dishes, picture frames, and other miscellany, with some storm damage but still suitable for use. No nursery. Purchase all required supplies before relocating, as the nearest Home Depot and Babies"R"Us are over 3,000 feet down and several hundred miles away.