son of a bitch loved war more than food.
And Glenn got the audience to see him as "that guy who moved us away from the titties."
Towards Rape Town? This man must be stopped.
Now, I'm no historian or anything, but I feel confident in saying that I am Cracked.com's Senior Authority on Motherfucking Presidents, and I certainly know enough to realize that, when you've got your audience booing Theodore Fucking Bullet-taking Fucking judo-mastering Fucking Bull Moose Roosevelt, then there is something profoundly wrong. Wrong with you, your audience and your bastardized perversion of history.
Beck has a very clever way of being racist without actually directly saying anything racist. He's always applauding the Founding Fathers as brilliant, wonderful men who are, most importantly, Beck will stress as he leans toward the audience, "just like us."
And he's right, in that the only people in his theater are old and white. I actively tried finding some non-white folks in the crowd and I was, time and time again, unsuccessful. This was seriously the whitest audience I've ever seen (and one time I went to a Weezer concert). I politely nodded to the equally white people in
theater and sat down with a little notebook so I could capture the experience.
Now there's nothing wrong with being white (some of my friends are half-white), but Beck seems to see America's early years as a perfect utopia. He paints Progressivists as disrespectful, socialist upstarts with no regard for the flawless and infallible men who created our constitution. Never mind the fact that the perfect, infallible rules that the framers set forth made it impossible for anyone who wasn't a white, property-owning male to have any say in the voting process. Poor Glenn Beck misses the good old days when women couldn't vote and black people were actually black almost
At one point, Beck describes a terrifying panic he felt back in November. He talks about the lead-up to the election and how he kept screaming "Don't you see what's happening? Don't you see what's happening!?
" until it was too late and the unthinkable
He never says what the unthinkable is, just that it happened in November and it
him to the point of panic. But whether he's talking about a terrifying storm in November or a bleak future populated by "undocumented" (re: non-white) workers building "our
cars" it seemed pretty clear to me that Glenn Beck is a scared white man who is desperately yet unsuccessfully trying to cope with the fact that the country of his beloved white founders elected a black guy.
This... honestly could have happened at any point of the show. I think I have this exact thing written down about six times, so... yeah.
At around 9:34, Glenn Beck talked about how important it was that everyone read as often as possible, and that Common Sense
in particular was a must read. But he wasn't talking about Thomas Paine's Common Sense
(which, I'd like to point out, is available for free right here
). No. There's a new book, Glenn Beck's Common Sense
, that Glenn had in his pocket while on stage
, because he really thinks you should buy it.
Actually, he doesn't think you should buy it. He thinks it is your
constitutional obligation as a living, mouth-breathing human being to buy it.
He makes a big point to show that he made his publishers put it out as a soft cover book, so he could sell it for the low, low price of $9.99 and standing on stage with the threat of tears in his eyes, he again reiterates how important reading (and buying) books (that he wrote) is. This is a two hour comedy show with a freaking intermission, and Glenn Beck spends 10 minutes desperately pimping his book, the proceeds of which I imagine go towards the pro-rape legislation he's been pushing for.
Beck spends the entire show establishing an "Us vs. Them" vibe. "They" are brought up throughout the show- sometimes as Congress, sometimes as politicians or pedophile schoolteachers or Californians or artists. It doesn't seem to matter. They
are the killjoys that move us away from FreeTITTIESdom, and They
are the spooky bastards that are giving our jobs to immigrants, and They
are the shady creeps that want to turn America into Socialist Russia. The point is that
are evil, and We
are perfect Glenn Beck's Common Sense
-buying heroes, and he's pretty forceful about encouraging Us
to do something about Them.
He's not clear on what we should do, just that it's aggressive and fairly violent.
I spent 19 fucking dollars of Cracked.com's money to watch Glenn Beck stand center stage, teary-eyed and red-faced, shouting
about how They
needed to be taken down, and the audience screamed and cried and cheered along with him.
But again, Glenn Beck never explicitly says who "They" are, so when the show was over, I conducted a brief interview with one of the other attendees, a gentleman in his late 40s with a giant grin.
So, you enjoy the show?
Absolutely I did, he knows what he's talking about, we should elect him
Yes. We should elect Glenn Beck for president. That is true. Yes. Quick question: When Glenn was talking about how we needed to rise up against "Them" and tell "Them" that we're not going to take it anymore, who do you think the "them" in that sentence is? Who is the "They" that we're rising up against?
[Very long pause.
Well, the people- I mean, the politicians, the ones- Anyone who has taken us farther away from Freedom, from where we were before. The people who inched us away from...[It's clear that he's thinking of titties right now.
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