Good, then I'm just going crazy on them, just straight up rubbin' 'em all sweet and nasty, and- I mean, uh ...
You've probably had a long day. I imagine those buttons of yours are tired. No doubt they've been in the hands of a clumsy amateur who alternately pounds and paws in a way to manipulate your delicate, tender buttons to cater to his own needs. Well, you can forget about him. The man who thoughtlessly attacked your buttons without the reverence they richly deserve is gone; your buttons are now in the capable hands of a skilled artisan. These hands have built furniture; they are calloused, and proud, and strong. These hands have prepared meals; they understand the importance of precision and thoroughness. These hands have punched a bunch of things in the past. And now these hands will content themselves serving no purpose beyond your pleasure. Watch as they explore all of the options your buttons offer. Letters. Some punctuation. So forth.
To the touch, these hands are soft, yet the power behind them is hard and firm. Years of labor have prepared these hands to diligently work your buttons with strength, and without tiring. A pinky glides over your home keys. Two thumbs tease your space bar. An index and middle finger find your -- that weird little, boxy, arrow-having thing below "Menu," I don't know what it is, I don't have a Kindle -- they find that.
I'm all up on this.
And the two digits take turns going for a walk in that little square of tender button. Lightly, at first, finger tips just barely applying pressure. But they get faster, more determined, until they're in a full-on sprint. Never tiring, never slowing. Just working the shit out of your buttons.
Yeah, you're damn right, Image-that-I-Assume-is-the-Visual-Representation-of-a-Kindle-Orgasm. Exactly that.
Now that you're nice and relaxed, let's start getting down to business. You're designed to hold books. Lots of books. Some more meaningful than others. Some you'll hold onto for long periods of time and get a lot of use out of, and some maybe you'll hold onto for just a brief period of time, maybe you'll never even finish. In your battery lifetime, there will be plenty of books that will enjoy you as a home. Some will be disappointingly short and leave you feeling unfulfilled. Some will be impressively long, yet ultimately unsatisfying (because size isn't everything when it comes to books). Some will make you feel sleazy, some you will regret so much you'll lie to your friends about having any involvement with it and some will be absolutely perfect. You should explore relationships with all of these books, there's nothing wrong with exploring your options. It's perfectly normal and healthy. Make sure you give all sorts of books a decent chance; you don't want to be too picky.