Chris Bucholz
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The idea of the hyperintelligent computer actually predates the invention of the computer itself, lonely philosophers having explored the concept of mechanical friends for some time now. But it's only in the past few decades that we've really gotten a handle on the idea enough to fill our works of fiction with hyperintelligent computers. Also our nightmares! It turns out that just about every intelligent computer we can dream up wants to end human life forever. Even computers need a hobby, it seems.
In anticipation of this imminent apocalypse, like most people I sleep with a sword and magnet beside my bed. But the other night, while getting them unstuck from one another, I began wondering if it was all really necessary. Now that we know more about computers and their insatiable hunger for human viscera, do we really have that much to fear from them? When we do ultimately invent a functioning AI, wouldn't we be prepared and safeguard against their murderous rage, and put them to more savory uses? Put more plainly, if we actually had any of the following fictional hyperintelligent AIs, what would we really use them for?
Skynet is the artificial intelligence from the Terminator movies that was at some point put in charge of all or most or enough of the nuclear weapons in the United States. When someone realized what a fantastically ill-conceived idea that was and went to turn it off, Skynet, acting out of a sense of self-preservation, launched those nuclear weapons at the Soviets, knowing they would launch theirs in return. Rising from the ashes of the nuclear holocaust that follows, Skynet goes on to ... something. I'm not too up to speed on the lore established in the later movies. Forge a throne of skulls, I think. Basic tyranny stuff like that anyways.
It was also sending naked robots into the past for a bit, too. It had its reasons.
But knowing all that, clearly we'd now never put an artificial intelligence in a position where it could launch nuclear weapons. So when we do inevitably make one of these new gods, what will we put it in charge of?
What We'll Actually Use It For:
Smart fridges.
The thing with Skynet was that it was acting pretty rationally. With only a limited set of verbs it was capable of performing (Armageddon/no Armageddon), it was more or less inevitable a nuclear war would happen when it felt threatened. One obvious solution to that is to just give one of these things less potent verbs to work with. Skynet The Thermostat, Skynet The Vibrator, things of that nature.
Better yet, let's cut to the root of the problem and make it something we'd be reluctant to turn off in the first place. Skynet The Vibrator, ha, yes, nice. But how about Skynet The Fridge? When was the last time you unplugged your fridge? It's quite possibly been years, even decades, and with some form of battery backup and redundant storage, it's plausible for a Skynet ensconced in one of these things to feel secure in the knowledge it will live a long and happy life minding spoilage and communicating with the Safeway web app.
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