In fact, it's one of the only mid-sized media outlets that existed prior to 2008 that endorsed Trump's political run. Well, them and TMZ. In an uncharacteristic move for a celebrity gutter press outlet, TMZ dove into national politics by supporting Trump at every turn during the campaign and beyond. In fact, their coverage of Trump was so one-sided that one staffer characterized it as "gross." And that's from a person who goes to bed every night praying for a video of celebrities getting into a fight or a new set of leaked nudes from a starlet. Think about what it would take for that person to realize, "This has become too trashy for me." They draw their line on a planet millions of light years away, and somehow this crossed it.
Now, I'm not saying that we here at Cracked are the absolute pinnacle of investigative journalism. I'm aware that our equivalent of the Watergate scandal would be a compelling argument that Jafar was the assumed identity of Salazar Slytherin after leaving Hogwarts for the Middle East. But while we have a deep love of pop culture, we do at least have to fact-check the topics we write on. (If I'd misspelled "Slytherin" above, I would have been beaten within an inch of my life by the editorial staff.) That simply isn't the case with tabloids like The National Enquirer and TMZ, whose one and only goal is to create an entertaining facsimile of the news. They operate in a space where the accuracy of a statement isn't even a consideration.
"Why are tabloids suddenly mixing politics into their coverage of how Brad and Angelina are divvying up their secret alien sex cult?" you might ponder as you begin to forget which reality you actually call home. It isn't a coincidence that tabloids are supporting Trump, the reality-star-turned-president. Let's not forget that he used to call Page Six under a phony name and give them tips pretending to be a publicist. He's a tabloid person. He's most at home with the tabloids because he entered politics from the tabloid dimension. Past presidents merely adopted the bullshit. He was born in it, molded by it. Tabloids are how he thinks, talks, and probably how he cries out during sex. "EXPOSED! YOU WON'T BELIEVE I'M TOUCHING YOUR BOOBS."
And that's the point here: Our reality keeps splitting because we're being invaded by a force that doesn't really tell the truth and doesn't really lie -- the very idea of the truth is alien to it. To Donald Trump, there is only what is convenient to say and what isn't. It would be supremely stupid for a president to threaten two morning show hosts over an apology phone call, but that's only if you believe there is one reality that endures over time. If you run a tabloid that is never expected to be consistent from one issue to the next, or to make accurate predictions, or to print retractions when you get something wrong, if you see history as rearranging itself whenever you recite the incantation "FAKE NEWS," then there is no reason not to just live in whatever reality is most convenient at the moment. Of course Donald Trump, The National Enquirer and TMZ are in bed together. They share the same infinitely malleable worldview. To the rest of us, it's going to be a long road until we go Twelve Monkeys crazy.
Congratulations! You have been personally selected to for the opportunity to follow Aaron Kheifets on Twitter.
Be sure to check out our new Cracked Podcast miniseries, "Looking The Part," in which Soren Bowie and Daniel O'Brien are dissecting pop-culture's greatest beards, scars and tattoos.
And to listen to Part III this Friday, subscribe to the Cracked Podcast feed on Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts.
Subscribe to our YouTube channel, and check out What Trump Does With His Mouth When He's Not Speaking, and watch other videos you won't see on the site!
Also follow us on Facebook. All it takes is a click.
Recommended For Your Pleasure
The main benefit of watching TV is seeing the plight of sad bastards who aren't you.
- By Ian Fortey
- March 10, 2019
The 'wellness' market is thriving right now.
- By Lydia Bugg
- March 08, 2019
Most people have a pretty basic idea of what it's like to be a parent.
- By Seanbaby
- March 15, 2019
There's no shortage of downright absurd conspiracy theories out there.
- By Boone Ashworth
- March 14, 2019
Instead of rebooting and recasting, we have a chance for something new.
- By Archie Grimm
- March 06, 2019