trumping up charges. So, if you get pulled over for speeding and you speak too aggressively, suddenly
the cop can give you a ticket for disturbing the peace, resisting arrest and public masturbation. (Note: Do not masturbate in front of a cop when he/she pulls you over. They hate that.)
Not that I'm saying you should be silent when pulled over. Remember, you are completely within your rights to demand an explanation as to why you were stopped. Just know that there's a Right and Wrong way to do it.
"You better have a good fucking reason for pulling me over, you shit eating bastard." (Frowning, you extend your middle finger.
"Why did you pull me over, officer? Also, I'm curious, what kind
of bastard are you, if you don't mind my asking?" (You extend your middle finger and smile.
Did you see what was good about the "Right" scenario? By asking the officer what kind of bastard he is, you show that you're taking an active interest in his life, (he will appreciate this). Further, when you let him
decide what kind of bastard he is, you avoid making any potentially inaccurate assumptions. Because you know what happens when you
right? You get your "ass
" maced. Also, your eyes.
Additionally, notice how in the "Right" scenario, the driver smiles.
Nothing brightens up someone's day like a smile, even when garnished with a furious middle finger.
Here are some more examples of a few language traps you will undoubtedly run into when you get pulled over.
When Discussing Your Plans:
"Can we move this along, Officer? I have to pick up your sister in time for the underage rape party."
"Take your time, Officer. I have nothing but respect for the law; You sister and the underage rape party can wait."
When Handing Over Your Information:
"It doesn't say it on my license, but my middle name is 'Cop-fucker' and, if I thought your mouth was big enough, I'd shove the ole' wiener right in there without hesitation. WESTSIIIIIIIIIDE!"