How to punch Oasis in the face
Stand with your feet about shoulder width apart, about 2 feet away from Oasis. Turn yourself slightly so your dominant foot is further away from Oasis.
Roll the fingers of your dominant hand together into a ball. Clench your thumb on to the side of this ball.
Extend your dominant hand towards Oasis' face, straightening the elbow as you do so. Push your shoulder forward on that side and keep the rest of your body weight behind it.
When your hand connects with Oasis' face keep pushing!
Your mental goal should be to reach a spot 3-4 inches directly behind Oasis' face.
You're done. Take this time to reflect upon your accomplishment, or go back to step 1 and try again.
Practical methods for punching Oasis in the face in the Natural and Built Environments:
Jump up on stage, run across it, punch Oasis in the face.
Purchase a delivery truck and paint it in a non-descript way (I like to write "Potatoes" on the side of mine.) Park it outside Oasis' house until they leave for work, then jump out of your truck and punch them in the face.
Conceal yourself within an enormous birthday cake, wait until Oasis' birthday. When Oasis is leaning over the cake to blow out the candles, punch Oasis in the face.
Hide within the ceiling space of a military installation where Oasis is standing guard. Wait for Oasis to walk by, remove a ceiling tile, hang upside down from some pipes and gently tap Oasis' shoulder. Punch Oasis in the face.
Offer to teach Oasis