-written. That means that every now and then, David's wife will add some "notes" to the page. If you listen closely, you can almost hear her screaming over his shoulder as he types.
You know, there are easier ways to get on a porno mailing list, David Frahm. Problems in the bedroom can't be solved by throwing your phone number out the window along with proof that you're desperate. If that worked, my sex life in middle school would have been more than a coupon for control-top panties.
I know women are supposed to be bad with numbers, but I don't think that's going to fool her.
I'm no biblical scholar, but when I read this: "Because of the savor of thy good ointments thy name is as ointment poured forth, therefore do the virgins love thee." That means lubricating virgins, right? If you're so bored that you have to start ritually lubricating virgins as a couple, you're about one step away from hunting humans for sport.
Did this guy think we needed help figuring out what to do with chick movies? Watch them with women!? That's literally their only application. What the fuck else would we do with them? If you look right on the back of the box of
, it says "Warning: This film is only to be used to exchange for sex with needy women." Maybe next this fucking genius could write a book called One Thing to do with a Can Opener
Is his wife a circus clown? Every other piece of sex advice is playing with balloons. And now you want me to come up with seven
activities and goodies to put in them? A minute ago, you thought I was so stupid that you had to tell me what a chick movie was for! You know damn well my seven activities and goodies are going to be: new TV, sex with her friend, XBOX 360 Elite, blowjob during Rambo, Twitterring together about how small her ex-boyfriend's penis is, empty balloon and greeting card. David Frahm, you're ruining my life!!!
You know where I could find one, asshole? Because the only thing interesting about your book is how it's trying to make sex extinct.