Wall Street quotes in your ear while you sleep.
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Tip 3: Pick an Appropriate Time to Sleep
Dreams occur most frequently in the later stages of sleep, or during sleep sessions where your body is not that physically tired. So one trick to start mapping your dreams is to set your alarm clock to go off an hour or so earlier than normal, which could catch you in the middle of a dream, which you would then record:
Dear Dream Journal,
So sleepy. This is stupid. What kind of fucking idiot sets his alarm clock an hour early to record his dreams at the behest of a goddamned comedy website? This idiot right here. Holy shit. My dad is right to be embarrassed of me.
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Tip 4: Place a Unique Symbol in Your Bedroom
By placing a unique symbol or image in your line of sight in the bedroom, there's a good chance you'll come across it in a dream. And when you do eventually come across it you might recall that the same symbol, now displayed on the forehead of your boss, is also in your bedroom
and only in your bedroom, and that seeing it here on the forehead of your boss, who is now a jet ski instructor, must be because you're dreaming. For this to work, the symbol should be simple and easy to remember, but also as unique as possible. This is the one I've got painted on the ceiling of my bedroom, and I find it works pretty well for me:

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Tip 5: When Awake, Ask Yourself "Am I Dreaming?"
During your regular productive day, repeatedly check to see if you are dreaming. The idea here is that by making this into a habit while awake, you'll be more likely to do the same during a dream, and possibly catch yourself dreaming. The classic way to check if you're dreaming--pinching yourself--definitely works, but anything which will send a jolt through your system should do the trick; bite your tongue, kick a wall, try to steal a cop's gun--they're all good.
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